I previously shared an experience I had as a victim of Microaggressions by an unknowingly, but very naive woman. Of course this was not the only time I have experienced bias, or been a victim of another persons prejudices or discrimination's. Unfortunately in the past I have also experienced discrimination from certain individuals that actually did in fact come from my own race.
I had one particular experience with an older Hispanic woman I met through my job at the time, almost twenty years ago. And I think this encounter with this woman, has remained with me so long because this was the first time I can remember that I had been so boldly offended by someone of not only my own gender, but also of my own race. At the time I had been dating a Caucasian young man, and to my dismay she was one of those people that found our relationship to be very wrong, especially since I was an Hispanic woman. In her eyes it was never acceptable to date or even marry someone who was not of the same nationality or race. And besides her racial issues, she also had a big problem with people such as myself, who were of Hispanic or Spanish decent, and for whatever reason didn't know or speak their native language, which she found to be very offensive. And right form the start, I really felt that I offended her, First by the way I looked, and secondly because even though I could fully comprehend Spanish, I still was not able to communicate it correctly or effectively.
So it was on this particular day. I was totally shocked by her boldness, when she proceeded to tell me that I should be ashamed of myself by being with someone like him, and denying my own race, as well as by being disrespectful to myself and to my family, by not also speaking Spanish. Of course upon hearing this, as well as being very young at the time, you could only imagine how angry I was by hearing her discriminating words. But always being taught to respect my elders, I actually maintained my composure, and our encounter thankfully never escalated nor turned violent. But still being the person I am, I did take the time to try and educate her not only on my own personal background, but also on our very diverse and multicultural society. A society that we should completely embrace, instead of reject and discriminate on strictly based on another persons differences.
So in conclusion I would definitely have to say that it is because of this particular experience, that I now realize just how imperative it is especially as educators to teach our children the importance of respecting another persons diversities. "Early childhood educators care deeply about what happens to children. Working to make the world that children live in a place where every one can flourish is an extension of that caring" (Sparks, 2010). Especially since it is these unique and diverse differences that definitely make us the people we are, both inside and out. And I'm also positive that this particular woman that offended me at the time wasn't just born that way, these were definitely traits she first learned at home, and then eventually grew into her own set of bias and stereo-typical prejudices. "No one escapes learning stereotypes and misconceptions about various aspects of human diversity. These lessons begin when we are very young, taught initially and most powerful by our family and then by the larger world around us" (Sparks, 2010). But never the less as adults especially we need to be more aware of our own bias and prejudices, and realize that these kinds of comments and stereo-types can be extremely hurtful, as well as be very damaging to another person.
References:
I had one particular experience with an older Hispanic woman I met through my job at the time, almost twenty years ago. And I think this encounter with this woman, has remained with me so long because this was the first time I can remember that I had been so boldly offended by someone of not only my own gender, but also of my own race. At the time I had been dating a Caucasian young man, and to my dismay she was one of those people that found our relationship to be very wrong, especially since I was an Hispanic woman. In her eyes it was never acceptable to date or even marry someone who was not of the same nationality or race. And besides her racial issues, she also had a big problem with people such as myself, who were of Hispanic or Spanish decent, and for whatever reason didn't know or speak their native language, which she found to be very offensive. And right form the start, I really felt that I offended her, First by the way I looked, and secondly because even though I could fully comprehend Spanish, I still was not able to communicate it correctly or effectively.
So it was on this particular day. I was totally shocked by her boldness, when she proceeded to tell me that I should be ashamed of myself by being with someone like him, and denying my own race, as well as by being disrespectful to myself and to my family, by not also speaking Spanish. Of course upon hearing this, as well as being very young at the time, you could only imagine how angry I was by hearing her discriminating words. But always being taught to respect my elders, I actually maintained my composure, and our encounter thankfully never escalated nor turned violent. But still being the person I am, I did take the time to try and educate her not only on my own personal background, but also on our very diverse and multicultural society. A society that we should completely embrace, instead of reject and discriminate on strictly based on another persons differences.
So in conclusion I would definitely have to say that it is because of this particular experience, that I now realize just how imperative it is especially as educators to teach our children the importance of respecting another persons diversities. "Early childhood educators care deeply about what happens to children. Working to make the world that children live in a place where every one can flourish is an extension of that caring" (Sparks, 2010). Especially since it is these unique and diverse differences that definitely make us the people we are, both inside and out. And I'm also positive that this particular woman that offended me at the time wasn't just born that way, these were definitely traits she first learned at home, and then eventually grew into her own set of bias and stereo-typical prejudices. "No one escapes learning stereotypes and misconceptions about various aspects of human diversity. These lessons begin when we are very young, taught initially and most powerful by our family and then by the larger world around us" (Sparks, 2010). But never the less as adults especially we need to be more aware of our own bias and prejudices, and realize that these kinds of comments and stereo-types can be extremely hurtful, as well as be very damaging to another person.
References:
Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).
Hi Sylvia,
ReplyDeleteAs always, I enjoyed reading your blog, and I am sorry that you had to have such an encounter. However, your response, and willingness to educate her, demonstrated the strength and knowledge that you had. Until this class, I do not think that I would have been so professional; I probably would have blown up, which would not solve anything.
I've learned to stick up for who I am, valuing my social identities. While everyone might not agree with these identities, I am more comfortable and proud of them.
Thanks for giving me much to think about!
Great post Sylvia. A friend of mine who is also Mexican shared with me a similar experience due to the fact that she doesn’t speak Spanish. She said she doesn’t shop in Mexican sores because when people see her, they talk to her in Spanish and if she tells the that she doesn’t understand them, they give her dirty looks and accuse her of pretending to be someone who she really isn’t. My friend is a third generation Mexican born and raised in California and said that she was never taught the language because her mother didn’t speak it either.
ReplyDeleteSylvia
ReplyDeleteI can understand your post, because a similar situation happen to me on Friday October 12, 2012, at the office that myself and cowokers shares on every Friday. Being discriminated by your on race is very serious. Maybe my coworkers have lost their identities, but I haven't. I will continue to speak what I no is true and try to continue to help educate them, and to let them no that I am not a threat to them, that I am there to help educate them.
Sylvia,
ReplyDeleteThis class has taught me to do just what you said; the importance to educate children to respect another person’s diversity. We definitely need to be aware of our own biases and careful with our words as we communicate with others. A simple statement can be very harmful to another. Thank you for sharing your personal story with us.
Sylvia,
ReplyDeleteI have seen these same dynamics in my culture. I am white and my niece was dating an African American man for awhile. My family was so relieved when they broke up :(
I guess I just wonder why people care so much. If you are with a good person, who loves you, and you are happy...who cares? I think it's our job to teach children not to judge based on the skin color or a spoken language. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a generation of children in this country that are truly unbiased?